If you knew me then…

I was out at a networking event the other night and some of us got talking about internet networking and how great it is to catch up with people.

Though, I couldn’t believe what I heard from a couple of people! They said, “Why would I want to reconnect with people from High School? If they weren’t important enough to stay friends with, why would I talk to them now?”

Seriouly…WHY NOT? Nobody knows in High School exactly who they are going to be as adults. How do you know that guy you picked on in Chemistry isn’t going to be the same man, who will create a cure for a disease that threatens a loved one. Or maybe that girl you ignored, later writes a book that inspires you to change your life.

I know in my life, because I am self-employed, everything is about networking, meeting people, letting them see who I am and what I do in hopes that they will remember me in the future. Where do I draw the line? NO WHERE!

If I haven’t seen someone in 10 or 20 years, how can I determine that they are nobody to me and that I don’t want to know them now. Reconnecting with people from so many years ago gives you a chance to take a somewhat familiar face (depending on how long ago High School was) to meet someone new.

Don’t you ever go out to dinner or to the park and watch other people or see someone and wonder who they are? So what difference does it make if you went to school with them all those years ago.

These same people commenting so negatively about reconnecting with high school people are out at a networking event with complete strangers, trying to network for their companies, so who cares if someone was a part of your past.

Ask yourself these things…think about who you were in High School and I mean think hard and realistically about who you were.

How many people did you really get close to back then?

How many people did you not even bother to talk to?

And most importantly would you want to be judged now as a person or a friend or even for a potential job, based on the person you were back then.

I doubt any of us would say YES, decide if I’m right for this job, based on who I was in High School, or YES, decide if I could be a good friend to you, based on who I was in High School.

None of us are the same person we were back then. Its called life experiences and they change us. Sometimes they are big life experiences, sometimes small, but all of them change us, effect our thinking.

How do you know, I’m not worth knowing now?

How do you know YOUR not worth knowing now…

I’m grateful for all the connections in my life, whether they are new or old, near or far, my life is blessed for them all!

 

Can we ever be perfect?

When I was growing up, I was very lucky to have two loving parents. One, my Mom who was always looking for perfection, working tirelessly for the unattainable, though always loving no matter what. And then there was Dad. With his big smiles and bear hugs, who would always tell us that we were “practically perfect”. It was his way of telling us to chill out, we did the best we could.

Think about it though, how many times have we tried something new and compared ourselves to someone else who has experience and we felt like we came up short? For example, say you take a painting class, yet your disappointed, because your painting isn’t as good as the teachers or another students.

If you look at life this way you will distroy your own potential, before you can explore what your talents are. Compare yourself to yourself! Work towards improving against what you have already done, not against what someone else has done.

If there was ever something you really wanted to try, like a type of art, instrument or sport, try it! Try it a few times, not just once! Then decide if you liked it, not based on how good you did, but on how you felt doing it! If you didn’t enjoy yourself and it doesn’t inspire you, find something else next time, but at least you explored that potential talent. If you did enjoy it, but maybe you didn’t do as good as you hoped, that tells you your passion for it is there, you’ll enjoy doing it, so work on it and the talent will grow. You didn’t jump in the water and immediately know how to swim or hop onto a bicycle for the first time and ride like the wind!

My recent example is my own creative passion, making jewelry.  I love making jewelry, I feel creative and it has a great instant gratification factor for me. The real test to my talent lies in the difference between were I started to where I am now. Sure I like the pieces I was making in the beginning, but now the difficult pieces become easier, the inspirations for unique design comes faster and I have more confidence in my abilities. I work hard to improve my own talent compared to where I started and I can feel proud.

I know a few other people that make jewelry and their pieces are beautiful and they are talented, but I can’t compare my work to theirs. Mine are beautiful as well, but different from theirs. And yes when it comes to creating anything, a craft of any kind or music, except right away that not everyone is going to like it, but don’t worry about them focus on the ones that do!

My mother loves the saying “if you ask ten people there opinion, you’ll get ten different answers” at least that’s what I think the original saying is. Mom has her own special way of repeating things, we call them Kathyism’s and they’re all hers!

I remember going through a very uptight phase as a teen. Dad liked to joke around, pick on me and I guess I would get all serious on him and tell him “it’s not funny!” One day we were driving somewhere and Dad picked on me about something and instead of getting defensive, I laughed, (ultimately at myself) and he stopped the car and stared at me.

He smiled wide and said “There you go, you found your sense of humor”. I hadn’t realized I had lost it, but I had at least misplaced it. I had been stuck, for a short time anyway, trying to reach for that unattainable perfection.

After that it was easier to realize, my faults were okay, laugh at them, learn from them, then move on. You can always try to improve yourself and I believe it’s good for us to always want to improve or learn, but we are not all made the same and some things about us are what they are.

By saying “I’m practically perfect” you allow yourself to have faults and except them, by excepting them you also allow yourself to love yourself just the way you are.

My favorite sale of the year

This year my favorite real estate sale, has to be the closing I had late this summer. I worked with this Buyer on and off for five years, never thinking I could get him in the right position to buy a home. The reason I say that is because he had no traditional credit sources and had walked away from four loan officers over the years, not following through with the instruction they gave him in order to be in the position to be approved for a loan. Yet he would call me every few months and tell me he needed to move out of this apartment complex and buy something.   This bank property came up in a town near by that I knew was perfect for him, so I tried to get him motivated by showing him the property, the value, the timing and finally got him in touch with a loan officer who was tenacious enough to stay on top of him to get the details done, unfortunately at the time, he delayed long enough that the property went under agreement.   I encouraged him that he was so close that there has to be other properties out there for him. Well, we looked and then I found that the property he really liked was available again and had a price reduction of $20,000. This actually happened three times. Three contracts fell apart on the property and three times the bank dropped the price $20,000.   It was meant to be and he closed on the property happily a couple of months ago. This will be one of my favorite Buyer success stories, because the problems that caused the contracts to fall apart were all issues that he knew how to fix and could handle and he was able to purchase the property for $50,000-$60,000 below market. In negotiating the contract we had also asked for closing costs and he was ready to give that up and I encouraged him to be patient, wait for the bank to respond. He got the $7500 we asked for towards closing costs and he almost gave that up!   No this does not always happen, but it can. Do you have a favorite success story?

Brenda Perkins

Kathleen Gallagher Family Realty

Concord, New Hampshire

www.nhproperty.com

603-228-2161

Real Estate, this is a good time to buy!

Why does the media make it sound like no one should by real estate right now? House prices have made great adjustments in some marketplaces making the affordability more reasonable. Interest rates still look really good and you can still get many financing options that allow for very little money down. I like to encourage clients to have emergency money set aside, because life is unpredictable, but other than that what are you waiting for? Some say the market will change for the better in the spring of 2009, others say 2010, no matter when I truly believe the largest price reductions have already happened.

If you think your credit isn’t good enough, well how do you know if you don’t look at your report.

I have many loan officer contacts that would be happy to sit down with a potential Buyer and review their financials and credit report and give them direction. Maybe you’d be pleasantly surprised or maybe you can get good information about how to repair damages big or small. If the ultimate goal is for you to be able to own a home of your own, finding out how to get from where you are now to keys in your hand at the closing table.

I know that when I have a goal for myself, sometimes others need to help me get there. To sit down with someone and find out what you need to do to make it happen is a no pressure, no cost opportunity to get you one step closer to your goal.

The only one holding you back is you! Go for it!

Brenda Perkins

Kathleen Gallagher Family Realty

Concord, New Hampshire

www.nhproperty.com

603-228-2161

Life after high school, undefined

I was thinking back about high school today after connecting over the last few weeks on-line,with people I haven’t seen in 20+/- years. I realized how much we define ourselves in life based in the opinions of others. In school all those years, we are growing, changing, developing, completely undefinable as to who we will be as grown ups, yet it is there in those hallways and classrooms we are often labeled or titled (depending on how you look at it) and often carrying those labels our whole life.

I have a good friend who always seems to be impressed and amazed by my ability to walk into any social circle and network, uninhibited by any lines of wealth, weight or knowledge. A rare quality I’m told for someone overweight like myself. Today I realized that I have been that way my whole life…

Sure I might have had one or two bullies in school pick on me. I remember having a horrible time in 5th grade having just moved to a new area, which meant new school. I remember that first semester at that school, being picked on to the point where I would walk out of class crying. They didn’t know me, how could they know they didn’t like me?

I was a little overweight then, early to develope with unruly curly hair and being new, prime bullying material. It didn’t last long though, by 6th grade I remember being comfortable with my classmates, going to sleepovers and birthday parties. I probably still had a couple people picking on me and maybe it is selective memory, but I don’t remember them. They weren’t important, my friends were.

I enjoyed myself throughout Junior high and high school, still being stockier then the “popular girls”, yet I wasn’t unpopular.  Actually I remember being bullied in junior high by one girl and her friends, but it was over a boy and that must have meant they were jealous and that was a cool reason to be bullied. At least in the mind of a 7th grader.

By the time you get to high school you might as well wear your label on your forehead. Jock, Prep, Burnout, Nerd, (some of the labels or titles from my time.) See they were titles if you had popularity and labels if you did not. Well where was I, where did I fit in?

I guess I would have to say that maybe many defined me as being a burnout. Huh, me? Okay to this day I don’t do drugs, never really did, so how could I be labeled a burnout? Well, I picked up smoking cigarettes, which back then weren’t age restricted, our school had a smoking area and I promise you they were no where near the cost they are now.

Bad habit I had from age thirteen to twenty-seven. Yikes! Glad that’s been over for a while. Anyway, being a smoker in high school, I would hang out on free periods in the smoking area, laughing, joking and being friends with those around me. Except the difference was, when I walked out of that area, what ever label you put on me, I left it there and went to my next class.

A class where maybe I sat next to a “nerd” I was friends with, or a “jock” who played sports with my older brother and was my friend. Somehow I escaped all that labeling and was able to walk into life undefined, no lines, no boundaries. Though it probably helped that I never did have a real shy bone in my body.

Yes, I’m overweight and NO you wont see me on Maury in a bikini telling the world I’m perfect and gorgeous just the way I am, but maybe someday on Oprah inspiring others. (That’s another story) Anyway, I want to say I am grateful for those I am reconnecting with and those I have yet to find, because whether or not they labeled me back then, they also excepted me which I am sure impacts who I am today.

Undefinable, open and confident.

Every day is a chance to grow as a person, to reach into your potential, to try something new. I truly hope I never finish discovering who I am in life and more importantly who I can be in the life of others.